Why do you blog?

This post is part of a reader Q&A. I'm always more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything). My email button is on the sidebar. Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist. These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: I'd be embarrassed to write about myself. Why did you decide to blog about your process?

There are lots of reasons I started the blog as my first step towards losing the weight. One of the main things that inspired me to start this journey was reading another weight loss blog. I was feeling bad about myself and then read about another woman's success and thought, "Why not me?" So I wanted to give back by charting my own progress with a blog.

I was already an avid journaler and blogger, so starting a blog was a logical step for me. It helps me to stay accountable and clearly work through the tougher moments along the way. Sure, its embarrassing at times, but we have to be willing to look foolish if we want to be bold and create something new. And as a reader, I want the "real deal". I don't want anything sugar-coated. I want the writer to trust me and reveal the essence of who they are - and I assume that you want the same. It seems that when I write about the more difficult or humiliating portions of this journey, the reader response is more engaged. And the support I have received from my readers cannot be overestimated. Sometimes the only reason I stuck to the plan, or went to a work-out I didn't want to attend was because I knew I would have to report back here for my Monday weigh-in.

Another reason to share is to create solidarity. Most everything marvelous that has ever happened to me was at the hands of a group of supportive, compassionate women. Women must buoy and help each other. We need to speak with honesty, fearlessness and compassion about our trials and tribulations. I wanted to add a voice of reason and humor to the emotional struggle of losing weight.

Looking in the mirror while naked?

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: Of course the spiritual, mental, and emotional payoffs must be amazing, but I want to know what, when you look in the mirror now with no clothes on, makes you grin from ear to ear?

This is a really sweet question and I'm definitely in favor of celebrating the boons of my hard work. Yes, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror naked, I'm very happy to see that I am smaller and more toned. It's thrilling to see my shape change so drastically. But that's where it ends. Like many women, I have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror while naked. The first look is always fine. But upon closer inspection, I start noticing the extensive map of stretch marks on my stomach and thighs. My breasts, which have nursed two children, look like dishtowels with buttons. My hips, which have birthed two babies, are genetically predisposed to look like tater-tot casseroles. But honestly none of this really brings me down. Why? Because most people never see me naked, including me. My kids see me naked once in a blue moon, and they don't care what I look like. Jack sees me naked, but he generally doesn't care because he loves me unconditionally and gets to have sex with me.

The thing that makes me "smile from ear to ear" is how I look clothed! I love to see my workout clothing fit nicely. I love to wear a pair of jeans that fit well and aren't composed entirely of spandex. I love going to a clothing store, knowing that whatever I try on is probably going to fit. Its such fun to expand my closet to include tailored blouses, skirts and even a pair of heels. Most plus sized women are trapped by the fashion industry. There is really very little available to them, much less something stylish and inexpensive. Until now, I hated walking into a clothing store. Now, I look forward to it!

For Christmas, my husband gave me a turquoise, long-sleeved running shirt. Even though it didn't quite fit at first, I loved it. And as the months pass, it fits better and better. It's such fun to grow out of my old wardrobe and into an entirely new one. Here I am in my running shirt - the first photo taken in February and the other taken this morning after my run.

And just for fun, here's my four-year-old giving me snuggles after my run!

Weigh In - Week 50

Today marks my last weigh-in before the one-year anniversary of my Smaller Sarah journey.  On Friday, June 1st, I'll be posting my final weight-loss numbers and some before and after photos!  I'm happy to report that I lost 3 pounds this week, bringing my total loss to 73 pounds.

This week was big.  I packed up the boys and hauled our cookies to Utah to be with my husband while hes working at the Utah Shakespeare Festival.  Even with all the planning and preparation, I still managed to eat well balanced, healthy meals and to work out four of seven days. I even ate out at a Red Robin and a Chili's and managed to order and eat raw meals at these famously fried establishments. I ordered their house salads without croutons or cheese and then replaced the dressing with guacamole, which are made in house.  It was really good!

I've recently had lots of questions about the future of Smaller Sarah when I hit the one-year mark. "You aren't going to quit blogging, are you?"  No way!  I really love writing this blog and have found it to be an essential accountability tool. So, my plan is to create some new goals and continue blogging!

Pounds lost this week: 3

Total pounds lost: 73

The "I Did It" List

attended two boot camp classes

ran 4 miles - 2 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday

registered for another 5K to take place on July 15th in Dallas
rode an airplane for the first time in a year and my butt fit in the seat!

ordered and ate raw meals at two chain restaurants

What do you do when you get discouraged?

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: What was the most discouraging time or event for you and what did you do to push through?
All of my discouraging moments, be they small or big, were at my own hands. My most discouraging moments were when I displayed old behavior patterns concerning food. I'd go a few months without binge eating and think, "Yay, I'm cured!" Then a tough week followed by a killer menstrual period, Mercury in retrograde, or a terrible hospital visit for Charlie or other normal life event would catapult me back into a bowl of ice cream or four.

When I was spiraling, my first step was to ask myself only one question. "What do I really need right now?" The answer was never four bowls of ice cream. The answer was always something else: some fresh air to clear my head, better sleep, a hug, a phone conversation with my mom, etc.  Step two was always to go get the thing I really need. But step two is difficult, because it usually involved asking someone for help, which for most people (especially women who are pretending to be supermom - that's me) is very difficult.

Eating an entire pint (or before the smaller sarah year - a 1/2 gallon) of mint chip alone after the kids have gone to bed is easy and immediate. No one has to see and I don't have to ask for help.  Asking my husband for an extra hour to myself or for a friend to watch my kids for 30 minutes is difficult and takes forethought.

So how do you bridge the time between the impulse to binge (or other vice) and the relief of a planned respite? That's tough. This might not work for everyone, but here is the usual progression for me:

1. Feel the discouraging moment.
2. Feel the impulse to eat something bad for me.
3. Answer the question, "What do I really need right now".
4. Immediately make a plan to get what I need.

Making a plan to get what I need is usually two-fold.  I journal most every day, so I sit down and write about how I am feeling and what I need.  Then I make a phone call (during the daylight hours) or write an email (if it was a midnight attack of the munchies) asking for help. This is why it is SO important to participate in a supportive community. No one has ever responded with an outright "no". If they can't help immediately by having a cup of coffe with me or watching my kids for a spell, they usually offer something else at a different time.  Knowing that relief is coming makes the discouraging moments more manageable.  Does this mean I never falter because I have my "trusty" system in place?  No, of course not.  But those moments are far and few in between.  And in the process of asking for help, I've solidified and strengthened my relationships. And I have been able to return the favor for them!  That reciprocal energy boosts my mood and makes me feel great and means I experience fewer discouraging moments in the long run.

Morning Run

I'm back in Utah territory!  If you've been following the blog for the past year, you'll remember that I began my Smaller Sarah year in Utah.  Why is my family here?  Because my husband takes a nine week contract every summer at the Utah Shakespeare Festival.

This morning, I laced up my running shoes and went for a 2-mile run around hilly Southern Utah University.  It's 50 degrees this morning with a stiff cold wind coming out of the mountains. I've also jumped from an altitude of 149 feet in Texas to an altitude of 5895 feet in Utah.  When you add the hills and the wind and the altitude together, it makes for a very different running experience than I've been accustomed to in Dallas.

Never-the-less, I popped in my ear buds (Kanye, Robyn, Gaga and Pink on the iPod) and braved the elements.  It felt so good to run the same route that I was walking last summer.  What usually took me 40 minutes to walk, I ran in 25 minutes today!  My goal is to run that two mile loop 5 days a week while I'm here.

P.S.

Tomorrow, I'll be posting some more questions from readers 

for the Q&A series, so be sure to check back!

A Little Break from Boot Camp?

I don't know if I'll be able to do it.  I'm taking some time away from boot camp to fit in some summer traveling.  For the past 6 months, boot camp classes at Positively Fit Lake Highlands have been a three-day-a-week staple in my life and I'm a little nervous about taking a break.  My plan while I'm away is to continue strength training at least twice a week and to run 5 of 7 mornings a week.  I know it will be a lot more difficult when I don't have my group to meet with or Mallory to come up with brilliant work-out combinations every day.  I'll be back in class by the end of June, so it's only a few weeks.  But still... it will certainly be a test of my self discipline.Wish me luck!

On my out to boot camp this morning.

Group photo of my boot camp class!  You ladies are awesome!

P.S.  I'm only 8 days away from the one year mark!  Of course, I'll keep posting every day as my final weigh-in draws near.  I'm really hoping to make it to a full 75 pound loss.  This week has been great so far, and I have high hopes!

Guest Post: How can you best support your partner?

Sarah & Jack

I get lots of questions from women who feel alone and isolated when attempting to lose weight and get healthy. Sometimes our partners are supportive of the idea of our weight loss plan, but become resistive when we remove the Cheetos from the pantry or need an hour to hit the gym. So for today's post, I've asked my husband, an expert on compassion and support, to share his thoughts on this topic. My question to him? 




Question: How can you best support someone you love who is trying to get healthy and lose weight? 

My wife asked me to do a guest post today about the ways in which partners can best support their spouses on the weight loss journey.  I’m thankful that Sarah feels supported by me and I’m incredibly proud of her success!  I’m also grateful to have lost 30lbs of my own as a result of piggy-backing off of her hard work!  I have a LOT to say on this topic – probably too much!  I’m so enthusiastic about it because Sarah’s journey has reaffirmed for me that self-directed, intentional change around a big challenge in your life is possible – and sustainable!  But you need support to do it.

1. You’re on the journey together.  Embrace change.  

This is the most important thing to remember.  The entire family is involved.  As you’ve probably seen if you are a follower of “Smaller Sarah”, the experience of weight loss is one that touches many fundamental aspects of your life: your food, your time, your feelings, and your relationships – just to name a few.  If you’re not just going for a “quick fix” and trying to create lasting change, this will cause shifts in all these areas.  Be ready for the process to be messy at first.  It’s a lot easier to stay in a familiar routine and you may feel resistance to having to take “her” journey all the time.  (More on this below). The good news is that, as Sarah’s diet, health, and energy levels improve, so do ours.  Our awareness as a couple of the food choices available to us, as well as the implications of those choices, becomes clearer.  Our kids’ diet improves.  We sleep better, feel better, have better sex (TMI?) and generally feel more vibrant, happy, and content. 

I know, I know.  I can hear the voices of resistance now – “This sounds like a lot of work.  I like things the way they are.  I’m comfortable.  I just want to come home and relax.  I don’t want to try the new cauliflower soup.  I want to eat what I like after a hard day at work.  I’ve earned it.  If she’s going to eat differently and make other choices, fine.  Just don’t ask me to change anything about my life!”  When I hear my resistance to giving up something that would help Sarah continue this journey and I come to my senses, I often ask myself, “Do you notice the ways in which she gives up things for you and for your sons every day?”  “Do you notice how giving up something changes her, moves her closer to you, and facilitates many important things in your life?”  Step back for a minute and take a wider view.  If what you are being asked to change “for her” will also benefit you in the long run, why not change it?  It’s your journey too.  Embrace the change!

(Quick Tip:  If you are reading this and interested in trying to get your partner to “go along” on your weight loss plan, do what Sarah did and start small.  In our first conversation, Sarah asked me to watch the kids for 30-45 minutes in the morning so that she could take a walk.  That was it.  It made it easy to say “yes”.)

2. Say "Yes"

Which brings me to my next point: whenever possible, say “Yes”.  “Yes” to a new walking routine.  “Yes” to cutting down on sugar.  “Yes” to real running shoes.  “Yes” to boot camp classes.  “Yes” – as much as possible.  When you aren’t adding external resistance to the journey, it’s easier for everyone.

3. Listen

As Sarah has documented on this blog, there are lots of twists and turns along the path of weight loss.  New and sometimes conflicting information comes to light about diet and exercise.  Unexpected emotions arise, her body feels different, and people react to her in new ways.  Her confidence can sometimes flag and she can encounter larger than expected levels of internal resistance to change.  The most important thing I can do in these situations is to listen.

Listen.  Your presence is really all she needs.  Give her plenty of space to falter, pick herself up, and re-engage.  When you have something to say, listen more.  If she asks you for your opinion, wait until she’s asked at least three times before you give it.  When you do, limit it to one observation.  This is the time to cultivate your inner pitching coach.  When she is in the middle of a competition (especially one against herself) that is not the time to talk to her about the finer points of her technique.  Keep it simple.  Keep her focused on the goal and the next tangible step.  Tell her you love her and that you know she can do it.  Look what she’s already done!

4. Extra credit – Think ahead.  

(I’m still working on this one myself.)  When you have started to master embracing change, saying “yes”, and listening, you’re ready for the big leagues.  Once she’s in a routine with a regimen that is working, find ways to help it along without her asking.  Take the kids for an hour so she can go for a run.  Clean the juicer so she can use it first thing in the morning.  Notice when the supply of lettuce is getting low and bring some home, etc.  These actions communicate that you are behind her 100% and they readily translate into feelings of support.  Think about it - when you come home after work and the kids are happy, or the house is clean, or dinner is ready and waiting for you, how confident do you feel?  Probably as confident as she starts to feel when you think ahead.

So that’s it.  It’s simple really.  Simple, but not easy.  I am by no means perfect at supporting Sarah.  I sometimes falter.  I sometimes get frustrated.  But the benefits I have seen in Sarah, myself, and in our lives together far outweigh my momentary inertia.  After all, she’s really doing the heavy lifting – and not just in boot camp! 

Finally, I want to thank all of you, dear readers, for your support of my wife this year.  Your comments, questions and encouragement have meant the world to her and, when she makes her goal, it will be your victory too!  That’s the not-so-hidden benefit of being a supporter: vicarious victory!  Best wishes on YOUR journey to a smaller YOU!    

Weigh In - Week 49

Hello all!  I hope you've been enjoying the Q&A posts this week. Its always a good exercise to put my thoughts in writing - it clarifies my trajectory and also helps me better understand my process. So thank you for your questions and comments! I'm so excited because tomorrow, my husband Jack is going to write a guest post about how to support a loved one who is trying to get healthy and lose weight. Its going to be fantastic, so check back in tomorrow. (I think Jack is a genius, but of course I'm completely biased.)

Generally its been a good week. I was in desperate need of a little "me" time since Jack has been out of town on business for the past 15 days. So I signed up for a free 7-day trial at the YMCA. This allowed me to get in a few extra work-outs while some nice ladies watched my kids.  I'm hoping to become a member so that I can use their gym, their pool, their day care and their showers. Its not very often, while flying solo with two kids under the age of five, that I get to take a shower... so having a shower at the Y was a revelation! Three cheers for bathing!

I worked out 5 days in a row this week! I juiced and ate lots of raw meals. But I also did a lot of social eating this week, which meant homemade gniocchi (thank you Marta!), homemade Paella (thank you Melissa!), taco salad (thank you Betty!), home baked cookies (damn you... I mean thank you Natalie!). You get the idea - I've been noshing.  So while my physical activity was stellar, my caloric intake was on the high side. So no weight loss this week. In fact, I gained a pound - ugh. My one year weigh-in is in 11 days, so I'm going to make this week really count. No more cookies!

Pounds lost this week: 0

Pounds gained this week: 1

Total pounds lost: 70

The "I Did It" List

started a Facebook page for Smaller Sarah - click HERE or the sidebar icon to join
ran 2.5 miles on my own

attended 3 bootcamp classes

spent a trial week at my local YMCA

attended an extra 30 min. boot camp class on Thursday night

did 30 minutes of leg lifts with my resistance bands 2Xs this week

juiced 5 out of 7 mornings

bought a bathing suit (40% off) at Old Navy off the rack

attended a pool party and didn't wear a cover up the whole time (this is big for me)
and I was also hit on this week... watch out Jack!

How do people respond to your weight loss?

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: How do people respond to your weight loss?
Most everyone has been very positive.  Friends and family have been especially supportive. When I announced to my family that I was going to take a year to lose 75 pounds, they all were 100% behind me. My husband was a rock when it came to helping me stay focused on the goal and positive about even the smallest of accomplishments. (I've actually asked my hubby to write a guest post about what it means to support someone who is trying to lose a lot of weight.  So stay tuned!) Losing weight and getting healthy is a strange combination of single-minded, solitary fortitude and open-minded, compassionate support. You can certainly lose weight all by yourself, but gosh it's a lot easier when you have a cheerleader or two.

There is a small group of people, mostly acquaintances and friends of friends, who immediately want to know how I lost the weight. When I tell them that losing the weight was really tough and took lots of determination and discipline, their eyes glaze over a bit. My guess is that they are hoping to hear about a pill or a cream or a video that led me to lose such a large amount of weight. Again, this is just a guess. Then there is a smaller group of people who, when they hear that I've lost 70 pounds, immediately respond with a warning about loose skin or a story about their friend who lost 100 pounds and then gained back 70 and ended up having a bypass surgery.

I have to remember that weight is a very emotional topic for lots of people. It certainly is for me. I sometimes have to be careful when I talk about it. For instance, some people have medical disorders or are taking medications that cause extreme weight gain. They feel powerless and trapped by their condition and are therefore apprehensive to chat about healthy choices, especially when they feel they have none. Additionally, some people are very attached to their food as a cultural birthright (think Southern cooking) and become defensive and protective of their heritage when I bring up the topic of a veggie-based diet.  

I lost weight for my own health and well being by making choices that suited my lifestyle - choices that I could sustain and be happy with. When people are inspired by my process it feels great! When people are put off by my weight loss, I don't take it personally. No matter when their reaction, I always refer them to this blog for a more comprehensive view. Once they've read a few posts, they seem eager to ask questions about my journey and share thoughts about their own. It's important to remember that everyone is fighting some kind of battle, so I always try to meet their resistance or their excitement with compassion and a smile.

Raw and Whole Food on a Limited Budget

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: How can I eat raw and whole foods on a limited budget?
This is a great question and I've had quite a few inquiries about this topic.  As many of you know, my son Charlie has medical bills out the wazu and my husband is the only employed member of our family so that I can stay home and take care of our boys.  We, like most American families, have to spend our dollars wisely. So here are some of my thoughts in no particular order:

1. It only appears that you are spending more on your food.  When I shifted my diet to include higher quality whole foods I paid more for the food, but I bought less.  It all came out in the wash. You can spend $2.50 on a bag of potato chips or your can spend $4.00 on a bag of organic Gala apples.  The upfront cost is more, yes.  I don't know about you, but I can put away a big bag of chips in one sitting.  It's a lot harder for me to eat five apples all at once.  So for a little more money, I get a better quality snack that lasts longer and makes me feel great.

2. Eating cheap junk food will cost you more money in the long run.  Heart attacks, diabetes, and worse are really expensive. And sometimes they cost you your life.  I'd rather fork over a little more money now and stay out of the hospital later.  The pay off of good nutrition is a life time of better quality years and more of them!

3. Plan your meals and pay less.  I wanted to save money on my grocery bill so I read a book called America's Cheapest Family: Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half.  The book is not geared towards organic whole foods, but you can apply most all of the concepts to whatever you're interested in buying.  This book has helped me serve nutritious, raw and healthy cooked meals and snacks to my family for about 400 - 425 dollars a month.  Not bad for a family of four.  If you want more details, you can read about it HERE and HERE.

4. Invest in good quality kitchen tools.  Yes, they are expensive and they are absolutely worth it.  I bought a cheap juicer at first and blew it out in six weeks.  Luckily I purchased it at Bed, Bath and Beyond and they have a fantastic return policy. I also had a very generous family member with a Costco card who bought me a Vitamix for my wedding anniversary. So if you have something on your wish list, share it with family!

5. Prepare only one serving per person.  I have cultivated a habit of preparing just enough food so that everyone has one healthy serving. This has saved our family lots of money.  It also has the added benefit of cutting back on portions, "seconds" and food waste. Americans waste far more food than we are aware of. The other benefit is that our family takes more time at the table to enjoy our meal and our conversation.  No one has ever gone to bed hungry.

6. Buy cheaper produce.  I know this sounds like a no-brainer.  Last February, I bought a beautiful mango for 4 dollars.  Once I got it home, I thought "I am an idiot".  So don't be silly and buy out of season tropical fruit.  Buy the inexpensive stuff.  Here is my list of go-to produce and raw snacks.  I always have these items on hand and have learned to make a bunch of different delicious meals using these basic ingredients.

Bananas (I can get them for about 44 cents a pound)
Apples (by the bag is cheaper than by the pound)
Carrots (whole, not in little weird baggies)
Romaine Lettuce
Celery (again, buy it whole and not pre-chopped)
Avocados (I get these at the Mexican food market "Fiesta" - 3 for a dollar)
Sweet potatoes
Almonds (raw and in the bulk section is cheapest)
Walnuts (raw and in the bulk section is cheapest)
Dates (not the fancy kind - just plain dates)
Raisins
Sprouted Grain Breads
Brown Rice and Quinoa

When I began eating this way, I explained to my husband that our grocery bill was going to go up a bit.  Without missing a beat he asked, "How much money would you pay to lose 75 pounds by next year?"  I shrugged my shoulders.  Then he said, "I bet you'd pay a lot more than you're going to spend on better groceries."  When ever I get down about the cost of pesticide-free lettuce or wince at the price of raw almond butter, I remember his words. If you are serious about getting healthy and losing weight, you'll need to make a little investment. Cut back on other expenses if you have to, but start to make your health and well-being a priority.

How did you create your weight loss plan?

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: How did you create your weight loss plan?  
The creation of my weight loss plan was an intuitive, experiment-and-see kind of thing. Initially, I did very little research or planning. I just jumped right in by starting a daily walking routine. I didn't want to start with a diet book or an episode of Oprah. I wanted to take real action and start moving - which is what Oprah and the weight loss book will probably tell you to do anyway. Everyone is always looking for an easy way to lose weight. But I knew that real and permanent weight loss would only come one way for me: diet and exercise. (You know, the hard way.)

STEP 1:
Move your body.  Walk. Go outside and put one foot in front of the other.  Your pace, footwear, and route do not matter.  Just get moving.  This will do two really important things for you:  1) It will feel good to move and boost your morale and 2) You will begin to burn calories.

STEP 2:
Stop eating the thing that is making you fat.  Once I established a consistent walking routine, I was free to start expanding my view. I had to do a little investigative work.  I wrote down what I ate for a few days just to see what I was really consuming during the day.  Often times I find that what we think we're eating differs greatly from what we're actually eating.  So write it down to get a true and honest beat on the kinds of foods you are consuming.  So the question is: What is making me fat?  Refined sugar and flour- plain and simple.  I am a sugar addict and always will be.  Most people are.

It was really important to me at the beginning of this process to be free from calorie counting and restrictive portions.  I knew I wasn't ready for that kind of regimen.  So instead of restricting the amount of food I ate, I simply cut out as much sugar as I possibly could.  It was pretty easy to cut the obvious sources of sugar.  Ice cream, candy, Pepsi, venti mocha frappucinos and baked goodies were all the first things to go.  The more insidious piece of the puzzle was all the refined sugar and white flour I was unknowingly consuming.

This is when I started doing some research.  It turns out that sugar (usually disguised as some form of genetically modified corn product) is hiding in almost every packaged convenience food in America.  And I can write with confidence that this kind of sugar is the source of my own weight problem and the cause of our modern American obesity epidemic.  So Step 2 (Stop Eating Sugar) was much more difficult to implement.  It meant a total overhaul of my diet.  Here are just a few things that I ate on a daily basis for decades that contain high fructose corn syrup:

Yoplait yogurt

Most Salad Dressings

Special K Cereal (in fact almost all Kellogg's products)

Most Peanut Butters

Muffins

Bagels

Ketchup

Sodas

Bottled Juices

Applesauce

Whole Wheat Breads

Thomas' English Muffins

Pasta Sauces

Power Bar

Miracle Whip

Ritz Crackers

Knudsen Cottage Cheese

Claussen's Pickles

Kraft Cream Cheeses

Some Campbell's Soups

So cutting the sugar was key.  And when I started doing this, the weight began to drop off at a very fast rate.  The first week that I cut sugar, I lost four pounds.  And when I begin to reintroduce sugar into my diet, the weight loss slows down or stops.  There is a direct correlation (for me and my body) between obesity and sugar consumption.

Question: How did you decide on raw food and juicing?
Once I cut sugar from my diet, the question became "Okay, what can I eat?"  And as I said before, I wasn't ready to restrict my portions or count calories or weigh my food.  All of that seemed a little to involved for someone just starting out.  Someone recommended that I take a look at The Raw Detox Diet by Natalia Rose.  Some of the book is pure crazy talk, but most of the principles are sound.  So I took some of the basics and started to apply them to my meals.  Basically, I could eat as much food as I wanted as long as it was a whole, unprocessed, raw food.  The book had lots of easy recipes that even a non-chef like me could prepare.  So I gave it a whirl.

I noticed a huge difference right away in my energy levels, skin tone and weight loss.  I felt good about what I was eating and I could eat as much of it as I wanted.  It turned out to be the perfect fit.  The thing to keep in mind when trying out a new diet or a new weight loss plan set forth by someone else is that it has to be sustainable for YOU.  If you read something and think, "Well, there is no way I can do that for any extended period of time," then walk away from it.  It has to work for you or you won't be able to stick with it.  And the truth is that no one book or video or lifestyle plan will be your be all end all.  Feel free to pick and choose what works for you. It was so important to me that food remain an enjoyable part of my day.  I love whole foods and salads, but I also love wine, dark chocolate and cooked fish.  So, I make it work for me while adhering to my no refined sugar (or very little refined sugar) policy.  And I'm not a tyrant - I still eat a sweet treat every once in a while.

The Raw Food Detox Diet also promotes juicing - especially green vegetable juice.  But it wasn't until I saw Fat Sick and Nearly Dead (a documentary) that I hopped on the juicing band wagon.  Eating the Standard American Diet for so long depleted most of my nutrient stores.  I needed to heal my tissues and reinvigorate my body at a cellular level.  Juicing was the answer for me.  It is a fantastic way to get a lot of phyto-nutrients and live enzymes into your body very quickly.

Now, 11 months later, I'm still at it.  I still juice most every morning and I eat a partially raw diet.  When I'm feeling low energy and need a pick me up, I just amp up the raw food intake and dial down the cooked stuff.  I am by no means a raw foodist nor do I aspire to be one.  However, these principles have really worked for me over the past year.

How did you know you were ready?

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: How did you know you were ready to lose the weight?
Actually, I didn't know I was ready.  My "readiness" came somewhat as a surprise to me.  I was reading something online about a woman who was tired of being overweight.  She was going to blog about her process and was going to start right away.  I thought, "I wish I could do that."  I felt fat and lethargic and under-energized.  I looked at my kids and felt exhausted just thinking about the effort it would take to keep up with them.  But I knew deep down that life didn't have to be this way. So I piggy-backed on the woman who was starting the weight loss blog.  I literally copied her first step and set up my blog that morning.  Smaller Sarah was my first step.

I didn't know what I was doing or how I would proceed, but I knew that I needed to get moving.  So that same day I took a walk - the first I'd taken in years.  All I knew is that I had to start somewhere.  My advice?  Don't wait for the right moment.  Start before you're ready.  Then once you've taken a small step, repeat that step over and over until you're ready for another step.  All I did for the first few weeks was walk.  Once I was confident in my ability to consistently get out the door for a morning walk, then I began to strategize about my next step.


Question: Why were your previous attempts to lose weight unsuccessful?  
I know this sounds crazy, but previously I was always looking for a low impact, easy way to lose weight.  I didn't want a weight loss plan to take time away from what I thought was "my life".  For instance, I took some weight loss drugs in the late 90's and lost a bunch of weight.  But of course when I stopped taking the drugs, which by the way were horrible-terrible-no-good-jack-you-up-then-crash-and-burn drugs (Phentermine), the weight came right back. The other thing that stifled me in the past was my mixed up motives.  I simply wanted to look better.  I wanted to look like other people I knew who were beautiful and thin and attractive to others.  I had no interest in looking like me.  And I certainly wasn't ready to look deeply at my emotional habits, which included binge eating, hiding food and a serious sugar addiction.

Then I had my children and realized that my body was awesome!  I gave birth to two beautiful boys and was able to nurse, nourish and protect them with my body. Not only was this an empowering experience but it also showed me that I was capable of far more than I gave myself credit for.  I also have a very supportive partner, without whom I could not have made the changes necessary for this kind of shift. I think my previous lack of success in losing weight was a confidence issue. In the past, I didn't think I was strong enough to do the hard work required for this kind of life change. I also didn't realize that my weight was a kind of armor I was using to distance myself from a destructive person - a person no longer in my life.  If you want to lose a lot of weight and lose it permanently, you must be willing to examine why you are overweight.  You must become an investigative journalist about the source of your own choices.  (More on this topic tomorrow.)

This time is different because I now know my own worth.  I am part of a true and beautiful partnership that is the center of an entire family.  I know that my actions matter.  I am the one in our family who decides what is on the table at meal time.  And more importantly, I have two young men to raise.  They are looking to me for cues about how to act, eat, think, love and move through the world.  They look to me for key information about their own worth and potential.  So when inspiration finally struck, I was ready to accept with a whole hearted "yes".

Questions and Answers

Hello dear readers!  Over the past few months I've had lots of questions from friends and blog readers about my weight loss.  They are all great questions about how, why and what I've done over the past year to lose 70 plus pounds.  I'm always happy to talk about the process either in person or via email.  But I thought since my Smaller Sarah year is coming to a close, I would address these questions here on the blog over the next week or so.  If you have questions about anything related to my weight loss, eating plan, exercise, emotional journey... anything... feel free to email me (the button is on the sidebar to the right).  We'll start tomorrow!

Me, Boxing

I just bought a 25 dollar voucher for 10 training classes with this guy:

The voucher is for group boxing classes at Bendu Boxing Gym!  (Don't worry, Mallory, I'll never leave Positively Fit Lake Highlands - I just need a little work out fling like that time you took the Barre class).  I just thought it would be fun and 25 bucks for 10 classes is a STEAL!  I don't know a whole lot about throwing a punch, but I sure wouldn't mind looking like this:

Although, I'll probably end up looking like this:

And I think it would be awesome to fight like this:

But I'll probably end up fighting like this:

Weigh In - Week 48

This week has been a revelation for me.  My husband is away again working out of state and I've had lots of time to write and ruminate.  I miss him, of course, but sometimes being solo provides a nice respite from habitual behavior.  In Jack's absence, I did a little experiment this week.  I did not make set meals, but rather allowed my kids (and myself) to eat only when we were hungry.  To facilitate this, I provided readily available raw, nutritious foods so that food prep would be unnecessary.  To my surprise, my son ate very little in the morning and slowly ramped up his food intake as the day wore on.  By dinner, he was ready for a full meal.  Usually I have to fight him to eat something in the evening.  I followed a similar pattern.  Water and green lemonade was all I needed between 6 and 10am.  Then a big helping of fruit around 11am satisfied my appetite until 2pm or so.  Then I'd have a green salad with some tomatos and chopped pecans or other topping in the afternoon.  By 6:30pm the whole family was ready for a meal. I felt energized and light all week long.  Hopefully I can continue the experiment and eat this way for the next few weeks.  I'm curious to see what happens with my weight and energy levels.

Pounds lost this week:  3

Total pounds lost:  71

The "I Did It" List

ate smaller portions 

attended three days of boot camp

drank more water / drank less coffee

consumed green juice 5 out of 7 mornings
bought a coupon for 10 boxing classes in the fall (can't wait to try it out!)

made homemade brownies for my son's school function and didn't eat them all

did Krispy Kreme take-out (at my son's request) and did NOT buy myself a donut

ate at Olive Garden, had half the Capellini Pomodoro, and brought the rest home for kids

Mother's Day Plans

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I have no plans.  With papa out of town working, it's going to be a quiet day.  At first I was feeling a little down about being on my own for Mother's Day, but now I'm feeling pretty lucky.  My kids love me, they need me and they trust me to be present and connected.  Tomorrow, we'll cuddle, eat yummy mommy-made treats, drink some green lemonade, call grandmas on the phone, play, sing and enjoy a Sunday together.  Perhaps we'll get out for an early morning walk or maybe I'll lead the kids through a kid-centered exercise routine with my new resistance bands.  What ever I do, I'll spend Mother's Day being a mother - a perfect way to spend "my" day.  What are your Mother's Day plans?

Still taking small steps...

Even at the end of my Smaller Sarah year, I'm still taking small manageable steps.  I've realized that there are no big sweeping decisions, no overwhelming seismic shifts that catapult you through the day to day process of losing weight and getting healthy.  No matter where you are on your journey, whether just starting out or on your 9th year of maintaining, you still need to take small steps.

One small step this week was to locate and purchase a set of circle resistance bands.  I use these every once in a while at boot camp and really like them.  Big impact, but small enough to stash in a purse.  Since I'm leaving for a few weeks, I wanted to have something to maintain my strength training.  I found this set of three at Target for $9.98.

Another small step is to eat raw meals whenever I can manage it.  If there is a raw meal available, that is what I eat.  And tonight, it was an Arugula and mixed green salad with tomatos and a raw dressing.  My sweet neighbor and walking partner, Jessica, dropped off an enormous bag of Arugula greens fresh from her garden.  Delicious!  I've included the raw dressing below for you.

Walker (4 years old) was my dinner date tonight! 

He thought the arugula was a bit spicy, but ate it all the same.

A Zesty "Go With Everything" Raw Salad Dressing

1 cup cold pressed olive oil

3-4 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar

2 heaping teaspoons of raw honey

juice from 1/2 lemon

optional: a bit of crushed garlic

Put all ingredients in a lidded jar and shake the shit out of it.

Pour on salad and store the rest in the fridge for up to a week.

My Tiny Veggie Garden

As you may remember, I planted a little veggie garden in my back yard this year.  I have never had one and am still learning the ropes, but it seems to be going well so far.  My hope is that I'll have some lovely home grown organic produce to eat this summer.  Plus its such fun to watch my four-year-old work with the plants and see them grow.  The garden has been a great tool in teaching him about how we create food.  His most recent observation?  "I will like my peas better because it took me a long time to grow them."

Thoughts on Self Perception

I've been thinking lately about my self perception.  Even though I am decidedly smaller than I was a year ago, I still perceive myself as bigger.  Its funny how the brain, supposedly the most dextrous and facile organ in my body, is so slow in keeping up with the current state of my body.  I walk past some beautiful clothes in a store and pass them up because I can see they don't carry plus sizes.  Then I think, "Wait - I'm a L-XL now."  Or I'll show up at a dinner party with a full table and think, there is no way I'll be able to squeeze in.  Then everyone skooches over a little and I slide into my tiny spot without a problem.  I guess I'm just wondering when my big brain will catch up with my suddenly smaller body.

Food Documentaries

How does the old saying go?  "There is no one more evangelical than the recently converted".  Well, hold on to your hats and please excuse my enthusiasm.  Food politics has made its way to Smaller Sarah...

Over the past year, I've slowly been making my way through a prolific crop of food documentaries that reveal the dark underbelly of the industrialization of food.  Corporations have genetically modified so much of our food that as consumers, we really don't know what we're eating.  And the fact of the matter is that the standard American food supply is killing us.  This last sentence is not an overstatement or the words of a conspiracy theorist sending out an alarmist message.  Our food is killing us.  Sometimes its fast and sometimes its slow, but either way you slice it, we must change the system that provides our food.

After watching all of these documentaries, some of which can be difficult at times to watch, I've come to a simple and easy solution.  Its something you can do starting right now.  Make different choices about the food you buy.  That's it.  Once you are an informed consumer, you can vote with your dollars.  I know that this can sometimes be a hardship, but so is dying young from heart disease and diabetes.  I know that this can sometimes cost more than the packaged "convenience" foods, but so are the hidden costs that show up later in the form of expensive medication to control your poor health, mounting medical bills, not to mention the environmental, cultural and social dammage of corporate "farming".

These documentaries have helped me open my eyes.  They have led me to ask more questions, read more about the food I buy and consume and to make different choices.  It was easier than I thought.  The most enlightening part of this process has been the discovery that the food epidemic can change on an individual level when we spend our dollars (votes) on better quality food.  Does it mean we have to buy less?  Yes.  Will it cost more?  In the beginning, yes.  Once we demand safe, organic, whole food at the cash register, corporations will have to change the way they do business.

Food Matters (2008)

Food, Inc. (2008)

King Corn (2007)

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead (2010)

The Gerson Miracle (2004)

Forks Over Knives (2011)

Killer At Large (2008)

Food Fight (2008)

Weigh In - Week 47

Hello dear readers!  Its been a great week here in Dallas.  May always seems to bring the promise of summer and a more relaxed schedule for our family.  Last week I was singing the blues about eating too much junky, crappy, gunky food.  I took this week as an opportunity to nip that in the bud.  I ate very sensibly and cut out all the little extra sugary things that don't agree with my system.  I also continued to attend my beloved boot camp classes.  So all in all, it was a very successful and well-rounded week.  I finished off the week at a gathering where ice cream was being served.  Of course I had a little to celebrate the end of the week, but just a little.  It felt good to enjoy something sweet, but not go crazy as I am wont to do.

The best thing that happened this week was that after a five-week stretch, my scale finally budged!  I've been happily maintaining a 65 pound loss for the entire month of April, but this morning, I did a little happy dance when I saw a three pound loss this week!  My plan for the month is to keep my meals lean and green and to continue working out three days a week with at least a weekly solo run.  This seems to be the most enjoyable and most effective way for me to stay fit and focused.  My final weigh-in is only four weeks away and I feel poised to reach my goal of losing 75 pounds in one year!

Pounds lost this week: 3

Total pounds lost: 68

The "I Did It" List

attended 3 days of boot camp this week

ate a mostly veggie diet all week with a little salmon thrown in for good measure

enjoyed three days of eating completely raw

hosted a small party and didn't over eat or over drink

attended an ice cream social with my kids and didn't eat a bunch of ice cream

Raw Chocolate Cherry Malt

One of my favorite raw treats is this Chocolate Cherry Malt recipe from Ani Phyo's book, Ani's Raw Food Kitchen.  It's starting to get WARM here in Dallas and this "malt" is the perfect thing to beat the heat!

Photo from Ani's Raw Food Kitchen

Raw Chocolate Cherry Malt by Any Phyo

2 cups of cherries (pitted)
3/4 cup of almonds
1/2 cup pitted dates
2 Tablespoons Carob or Cacao Powder
2 Tablespoons Coconut Oil
2 cups water

Put all ingredients in blender (I use a Vitamix) and blend until smooth.  It will keep in the fridge for up to three days.  I like to use a little less water and throw in a big handful of ice to make it colder and thicker.  When I served it to my four year old son he said, "This is the best ice cream shake ever!"  He's not kidding.  Here's a photo of my malt below:

Vegan Queso

Happy Cinco de Mayo!  In honor of today's holiday (and my Mama's birthday) I thought I'd pass along a vegan queso recipe from my friend Jacki.  At only 144 calories a cup, this stuff is going to become a staple in my home!  Its the perfect thing for that creamy dairy fix, but without cream or dairy.  Love it!

Spicy Queso Soup / Dip

1 large potato, peeled and diced
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
1 large onion, peeled and chopped.
1c of vegan fat-free vegetable broth (you can use whatever you want, but this is what I used for the nutrition info)
12 oz Mori-Nu extra firm silken tofu
1/2c nutritional yeast (mine is mostly powdery, not big flakes)
2T lemon juice
1 1/4t salt (or to taste)
1t onion powder
1/4c garlic powder
1 15oz can diced tomatoes with green chilies (not the tiny Ro-tel can, the bigger one. if you use the tiny cans, use two. More is fine, less would be lame)


Add potato, carrot, onion to the broth in a pot. Bring to boil, reduce heat to low and cover. Cook until vegetables are tender, about 15m. Stir occasionally. In another bowl, combine the tofu, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, salt and spices. When the vegetables are done, add the tofu mixture to the pan. Remove from heat and use an immersion blender (I use a Vitamix) to blend until smooth. Alternatively, add the soup in batch to a blender or food processor. Return to pan and heat on low. Stir in entire contents of the canned tomatoes, un-drained. Heat for about 5 minutes on low, stirring. Add water to thin for soup as necessary. Serve. This is fine stored in the fridge, you may need to add a bit of water to thin it when you reheat. The flavors do improve over time. Mmmmm!


Nutrition Facts: 6 servings, 1 cup each
Weight Watchers Points Plus 4pp

Calories: 144
Fat: 1g
Carbs: 23g
Fiber: 4g
Calcium: 14
Cholesterol: 0
Protein: 12g

200th Post

That's right!  This is my 200th post at Smaller Sarah.  Who knew I had so much to say and share!  When I started this blog back in June, I wasn't sure what would fill these 'pages'.  I wanted the blog to be an accountability tool, but it has turned into so much more.  And here we are 200 posts later and one month away from the one year mark!  What have I learned in these past 11 months?  The same thing everyone learns when they set a goal just outside their reach:

Everything you can imagine is possible.