Re-emerging

Boy, this shit is hard.  Isn't it?  Committing to something. Making choices that work for you. Finding time to do 100 percent (or lets be real - even 40 percent) of what it takes to live the way you want to live. Lugging your family along with you while you figure out what we're eating, who is preparing it and when it will be served. Stumbling through the tough transitions with only a half-plan in place. It takes a Herculean effort to be a healthful, organized, conscientious, connected, mother-wife-sister-friend-artist. And right now I'm falling short.

And that's okay.

It's okay because its impossible to do it all at once all the time.  Last year, I rocked it.  I lost 75 pounds and I conquered my life. It felt great. I felt great. I was riveted to the goal and all my attention was focused in that direction.  But that's not now, is it.  Since late autumn, I've been sending my energies in a million directions.  Okay, so that's an exaggeration. It's more like 12 directions. I've been working on a book, another blog, a new job with Houzz.com, free-lance photography with Harris Publications, an art career, commissions, workshops, teaching and more.  All of these things are new since June 2012.

Inevitably, my standards for healthy nourishment are not being met at the level that they were before.  I am not making the time to run. I've gained weight. I've become complacent. And I've lost the physical edge I had before.

Again, it's okay.

Why is this all okay? Because last year - my Smaller Sarah 75-pound-loss year - taught me an invaluable lesson about my life.  I am the choices I am making right now. Not last week or last month. Not tomorrow or next week.  I am the choices I am making in this moment.  That is all there is.  Today, I choose to recommit.  Today, I forgive myself for fast food and missed work outs and late nights. Today, I get to choose again.  What a gift!

What I'm Reading

Like all of you, I've been burning the candle at both ends this month. Charlie's medical challenges, Spring Break, rehearsals for a new show, art commissions, writing deadlines and weekly photo shoots are piling up and I'm desperate for a little quietude.

 So this month, I've been reading Nurturing the Soul of Your Family by Renee Trudeau. It's a wonderful book filled with all sorts of ideas and ways to simplify your life and focus on the things that really matter - namely personal interactions. The reason I was drawn to this book is this: while I understand how to create meaningful interactions with my family, I rarely have the personal energy and grounded stamina to do it. I'm always tired and a little discombobulated, which means that I often opt for a shortcut. Unlike other "how to help your family" books, Renee has hit on self-care for parents as a major component of family happiness.

In her chapter "The Transformative Power of Self Care" Trudeau defines self-care as "the art of attuning and responding to you deepest needs and desires." For me, a work-at-home-creative-entrepreneur-mama-of-two, this really resonated with me. Trudeau writes: Self-care is the foundation for becoming a courageous parent. It's not about pampering; it's about owning your personal power. It's about self-worth and owning the person you are. I believe this is our spiritual birthright.

 So this week I'm trying to put her words into practice. I want to show myself the same love, gentle care and compassion I offer my little ones.

You can pick up your own copy of Trudeau's book HERE.  

Or you can read her blog HERE.

A Manner of Traveling

I've been slowly chipping away at this past week.  Some juice here and there, a quick boot camp, a salad or two, and water bottles stashed in the car for traffic-logged moments.  Its tough to make healthy and serene choices when you're stretched as thin as I am right now.  It's tough, but worth it. Sometimes a healthy breakfast and a workout squeezed in after the carpool and before the therapy appointment means the difference between a successful day a red-alert melt down.  Sure, it's not the ideal schedule, but doing a little of what you planned is better than tossing the whole routine. 

After my pseudo-juice fast I developed an ear infection (an allergy based thing I get every spring) and had to start a round of antibiotics - not really conducive to juice fasting, eh?  When I'm done with those nasty drugs, I'll begin the juice fast again.  But until then, I'm eating whole meals and maintaining my spring weight loss which is now at 11 pounds!  My life, like yours I'm sure, can feel like a runaway train. I just have to remember that I am in control - I am the driver, the crew, the track and even the train itself.  I decide how fast it goes and I choose the station stops.

P.S.  I took a physical assessment test at Positively Fit this Monday. I ran my mile in 11 minutes and 25 seconds - not bad for a winter of brisket and beer!

P.S.S.  Got a minute?  Read this marvelous post entitled Cellulite: It's Time We All Just Get the Hell Over It.