Re-emerging

Boy, this shit is hard.  Isn't it?  Committing to something. Making choices that work for you. Finding time to do 100 percent (or lets be real - even 40 percent) of what it takes to live the way you want to live. Lugging your family along with you while you figure out what we're eating, who is preparing it and when it will be served. Stumbling through the tough transitions with only a half-plan in place. It takes a Herculean effort to be a healthful, organized, conscientious, connected, mother-wife-sister-friend-artist. And right now I'm falling short.

And that's okay.

It's okay because its impossible to do it all at once all the time.  Last year, I rocked it.  I lost 75 pounds and I conquered my life. It felt great. I felt great. I was riveted to the goal and all my attention was focused in that direction.  But that's not now, is it.  Since late autumn, I've been sending my energies in a million directions.  Okay, so that's an exaggeration. It's more like 12 directions. I've been working on a book, another blog, a new job with Houzz.com, free-lance photography with Harris Publications, an art career, commissions, workshops, teaching and more.  All of these things are new since June 2012.

Inevitably, my standards for healthy nourishment are not being met at the level that they were before.  I am not making the time to run. I've gained weight. I've become complacent. And I've lost the physical edge I had before.

Again, it's okay.

Why is this all okay? Because last year - my Smaller Sarah 75-pound-loss year - taught me an invaluable lesson about my life.  I am the choices I am making right now. Not last week or last month. Not tomorrow or next week.  I am the choices I am making in this moment.  That is all there is.  Today, I choose to recommit.  Today, I forgive myself for fast food and missed work outs and late nights. Today, I get to choose again.  What a gift!