Taking Pictures

Having your photo taken is one of the hardest things to do when you're not feeling your most trim, fit, healthy or beautiful.  This weekend, I took some head shots.  I needed them for my website and work as an actor. My hope was to shed a bunch of weight over the past 6 weeks in preparation for the photo shoot. But life went crazy, I got sick, kids got sick, things became very busy and I wasn't able to attend to my health in the way I had planned.  I didn't want to take photos at this weight.  I was embarrassed because after having lost so much weight last year, I was gaining some of it back. I didn't want to commemorate my weight gain with professional photos.

I took them anyway. I went into my head shot session without make-up and told my photographer that I wanted honest, open and authentic photos of me. I was nervous about what that might look like given the extra weight I'm carrying.  I held my breath when we looked through the shots. To my great surprise and delight, I didn't see the extra skin under my chin or my poofy cheeks. I didn't see a lugubrious lethargic body. I didn't see a fat girl. I didn't see any of the terrible things I thought I'd see.  I just saw me. I saw a healthy, well-adjusted, real, present and yes - even beautiful - woman.  I saw me. It was a good reminder that living my best life has nothing to do with being up or down fifteen pounds.  Living my best life means being in the moment and enjoying the gift that awareness brings. What is that gift? Peace in my own skin.

Here are some of the photos: