Wine Diversions

My last post detailed my eating plan for the fall - basically, juice in the mornings and afternoons and then have a raw meal in the evenings. Already - only five days in - I've diverted. And this, my friends, is what they call being human.

I have still been juicing in the mornings and keeping my intake low in the early part of the day, but my evenings have included cooked meals and even a little wine. After sugar, wine is one of my favorite things to partake in. But the bottom line is that 1) I'm still on track and 2) I'm living in the moment - both healthy things. As my friend Jessica is always reminding me, "Whatever eating and exercise plan you adopt, it MUST be sustainable to you. We cannot pretend that we don't live in the world."

This week, I'm off for five days to New Hampshire. I'll be attending the Squam Art Workshops on Squam Lake with my mama!  I'm so thrilled for the time away. I'll of course be checking back in when I return.

The "I Did It" List

I drank lots of green juice

I drank lots of water

I stayed away from sugar - except for a sip of Sangria at a party, but I felt bad and ditched it

I met two writing deadlines 

My home art studio was featured on Houzz (click HERE to see it)

I went on a wonderful date with my husband and mother-in-law

I hosted a gathering of fabulous women

I paid my mortgage and my car payment

Blogging and Not Blogging

Hello dear readers! I'm back home in Dallas after four weeks of traveling - first to the East Coast for a design job and then to the Pacific Northwest to visit my family. Traveling with a wheelchair bound three-year-old and a curious and fastidious five-year-old is tiring at best, but we all managed to have a great time!

Today, I want to address my inconsistent posting here at Smaller Sarah. I recently received an email from a dedicated and loyal reader gently scolding me for my on-and-off-again blogging. First allow me to thank you all for making space in your life for Smaller Sarah. I'm always thrilled to hear that my journey has been of use to my readers, inspiring their own life choices and motivating them to take charge of their body image and weight issues. That kind of interaction is a fantastic bi-product of my blog and I'm so grateful to all of you who have joined me on my path to healthfulness. But inspiring others is, in fact, secondary to my mission, which was to catalogue my own weight loss journey and remain accountable during my one year, 75 pound weight loss goal. That initial goal was reached 13 months ago.

Have I maintained my 75 pound weight loss since?  No, I haven't. I have slowly gained back 30-plus pounds since October of 2012. Life has been unruly (and wonderful) and I have been undisciplined in this area. I would love to post everyday with inspirational thoughts and funny self-effacing anecdotes - really, I would! But in these past quiet months, I've had my eye on some big picture goals that require my undivided attention. I hope you understand.

So what's next? To continue, of course! I'm always optimistic - even to a fault. Now that I'm home from my summer travels, I can begin to reign in my sloppy eating habits and rejoin my friends at Positively Fit Lake Highlands. When the Dallas heat breaks (it was 109 degrees today) I can begin running in the mornings again. I have high hopes for fitness and healthy nourishment this fall. And when I am able, I will certainly post about it here. I may be woefully out of practice, but I know what to do because it's all written down here on the blog.

And to my reader who sent the email scolding me for my inconsistent blog posts, thank you. Thanks for reminding me that I am supported and for encouraging me to check back in with my beloved little blog. Onward.

Courage, My Love

I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way. This is the situation: I had a great couple of weeks.  I ran. I ate well. I juiced. I could feel my body slimming down. My husband noticed the change. And all was right with the world. Then, a few days of poor eating, no real exercise, a frumpy attitude, grumpy kids, bloating, a trip to Dairy Queen (or two) and I feel like I'm back where I started.

I'm battling myself right now. I don't know why, which is tough because I usually do. I usually understand why I'm sabotaging my efforts and falling off the wagon. But right now, I'm at a loss. I know we've all felt this at some point, but for some reason, it feels shameful.  It's as though I know I'm supposed to be better. I'm supposed to have a handle on this. I'm supposed to be setting an example for my kids, right? Haven't I worked through this shit already?  Didn't I just knock out a 75 pound loss last year? Didn't I say goodbye to my crappy habits, emotional eating and self-worth issues from childhood? Wasn't that me?

Well. I'm trying to be here in the moment. I'm saying my mantras. "A day doesn't make a week and a week doesn't make a month." I'm slogging back through old inspirational posts from the blog but it's not really helping. I guess this is what they (the proverbial "they) call a funk. I guess I'm in it, eh? I'm in a funk.

Old Habits Die Hard

As I sit down to write this post I feel like a bad friend who said she would call and then didn't. And then when a week turned into two and then three, calling seemed silly and pointless. But I'm back, making that long awaited call. Hoping that you're still here.

I've spent the last three weeks in technical rehearsals for a show and then opening and running that show. All of my time has been spoken for. Even my family is wondering when I'll re-engage.  The show has been lots of fun and I'm SO thrilled to be acting again. But I'm also feeling totally out of my element - my routine shattered and old habits finding new footing. 

Confession time: I've gained back almost 30 pounds since the fall.  What?  30?  Yes.  30.  I worked my ass off and lost 75 and then gained 30 of it back.  You know what it feels like to lose 75 pounds in a big public way and then gain 30 back?  Kind of shitty.  

Luckily, I've got this blog.  I wrote down everything I did and now I'm going to retrace my steps and re-lose that weight.  Yep.  Welcome summer shred!  My show closes next week and I will once again be making the trip to Cedar City, Utah where my husband works every summer.  I began and ended my Smaller Sarah year in Utah and it seems the perfect place to pick up and start again.  

So here's the scoop: Starting on May 1st, I will be re-introducing a mostly raw diet. Once I'm in Utah, I'll also start running again. I would like to drop 40 pounds in 4 months.  That means 10 pounds a month with a final weigh-in on September 1st.  As I begin again, I am reminded of a post I wrote to a reader who emailed asking 'what do you do when you get discouraged?'  You can read it by clicking HERE. Here's another pick-me-up from September of 2012: click HERE. All of this just to say, I did it once... I can do it again!

source

In other news... 

I just found this amazing 3 minute ad that Dove posted on You Tube.  

I thought it was perfect to share here at Smaller Sarah.  

Re-emerging

Boy, this shit is hard.  Isn't it?  Committing to something. Making choices that work for you. Finding time to do 100 percent (or lets be real - even 40 percent) of what it takes to live the way you want to live. Lugging your family along with you while you figure out what we're eating, who is preparing it and when it will be served. Stumbling through the tough transitions with only a half-plan in place. It takes a Herculean effort to be a healthful, organized, conscientious, connected, mother-wife-sister-friend-artist. And right now I'm falling short.

And that's okay.

It's okay because its impossible to do it all at once all the time.  Last year, I rocked it.  I lost 75 pounds and I conquered my life. It felt great. I felt great. I was riveted to the goal and all my attention was focused in that direction.  But that's not now, is it.  Since late autumn, I've been sending my energies in a million directions.  Okay, so that's an exaggeration. It's more like 12 directions. I've been working on a book, another blog, a new job with Houzz.com, free-lance photography with Harris Publications, an art career, commissions, workshops, teaching and more.  All of these things are new since June 2012.

Inevitably, my standards for healthy nourishment are not being met at the level that they were before.  I am not making the time to run. I've gained weight. I've become complacent. And I've lost the physical edge I had before.

Again, it's okay.

Why is this all okay? Because last year - my Smaller Sarah 75-pound-loss year - taught me an invaluable lesson about my life.  I am the choices I am making right now. Not last week or last month. Not tomorrow or next week.  I am the choices I am making in this moment.  That is all there is.  Today, I choose to recommit.  Today, I forgive myself for fast food and missed work outs and late nights. Today, I get to choose again.  What a gift!

Blips are to be expected - Juice Fast Day 5

I'm on the fifth day of my juice fast and Oh. My. God. has it been a doozy.  I did it all wrong.  Usually when I do a juice fast, I spend many days in advance preparing by eliminating sugar, meat and flour from my diet. I have raw meals, I eat greens, I drink a lot of water, etc.  I usually also prepare my schedule so that I have plenty of time for produce shopping, juice making and even some quiet time.

This time, I had a plate of spare ribs the night before my juice fast and started my period on day 2 of the fast.  Brilliant.  On day four I went to a party with a bunch of friends and forgot to juice before leaving the house.  So there I was in front of a beautiful pesto pasta salad, on day two of my period, starving my balls off, without any plan in place to combat the feeling. So what did I do?  Forgave my poor planning, admitted that my body was not handling the fast and plated a serving of pesto pasta.  I also had a girl scout cookie to top it off.  That's right - a cookie.  It was delicious.  And you know what?  It's okay.  Eating a plate of pasta during a juice fast is not some kind of dieting trespass. I needed it and I ate it. 

So, today I'm feeling better and I'm back on the juice fast.  I've got a full fridge of beautiful organic produce and I'm moving forward.  So what?  I ate some pasta and a cookie.  My old self would throw her hands up in the air and say "You're doing it all wrong and you're a failure!"  But it's okay to do it all wrong.  Blips are to be expected.  Greet them with gentleness.  Be soft and fluid and let the tough spots move through you without judgement and recommit the next day.  Forgive, acknowledge and recommit.

P.S.  I've lost 8 pounds already! And since I'm on my period, 

a time when it's normal to gain four pounds, I'm feeling great about the results. 

Let the juicing continue!

Weigh In - Week 66

Becoming "exquisitely comfortable with who I am" is a toughie.  Turning my gaze inward is usually really beneficial for me, but sometimes I bump into old junk that stops me in my tracks.  The process of settling into my new self is proving to be a slow one with lots of opportunities for back sliding.  But I'm content to stay with it or rather, in it - living the questions fully so that I can one day live the answers.

It's tough to come up with an "I Did It" list for this week... so here goes nothing:

The "I Did It" List

I attended two boot camp classes

we bought a used car so that I can take my son to therapy every day of the week

I watched a really funny episode of "Doc Martin" that I'd not seen before

I bought myself a pair of divinely soft PJs from the super discount rack at The Gap

I didn't slap anybody

Taking the Cure

My whole body is revolting against me. I carry a 31 pound kid around for hours and hours during the day.  He can't walk or crawl and when I put him down he gets frustrated with his immobility and screams at me. The result is that my body is horribly misaligned and it feels like my hips and shoulders are becoming unhinged.

Today I went to boot camp. The first class of the month is always a physical assessment, which involves running a mile for time.  With my body in a state of rebellion, I was sure that running was going to do me in.  At first I was in a lot of pain - my joints and ligaments were all out of tune.  But after the first few minutes, they began to loosen and even glide. By the half mile mark I was in a rhythm and the pain dissipated. Tonight my jangled bits of body are aching again, but my hour at boot camp afforded me a little break.

A reader (Amber) recently asked me about my game plan for yanking my tired butt out of the "doldrums".  She wanted to know how I was going to "kick it up a notch".  Great question, Amber, and THANK YOU for keeping my on track.  I've got a few ideas and here they are:

1) Reread some of the health literature that got me started on the raw foods in the first place. This includes "The Raw Detox Diet" by Ms. Rose.

2) Get back in a 3 day a week boot camp rhythm.  The key is to just show up.

3) I've joined a "Biggest Loser" competition through my local mom's group. A group of us have pitched in 5 bucks each and the woman who loses the largest percentage of body weight (Sept. 11 - Dec. 4) wins the pool.  I did it in the Spring (and won) and it was a huge motivator.

4) Start every day with green juice again - not just 3 or 4 days a week.  Every. Day. Of. The. Week.  Green juice always makes me feel amazing!  And it curbs my appetite all morning long.

5)  I'd also like to plan a 10-day juice fast again - possibly in October.

6) And finally, this is the first time in a year that I have not been signed up for a 5K.  I think I need to find a race and register.  I tend to better adhere to my running schedule when I've got a race coming up.

So, there are my thoughts.
Now let's hear yours!

Weigh In - Week 65

Alrighty. This is it.  This is the phase I've dreaded since starting this process in June of 2011.  The doldrums.  I'm not losing any weight.  I'm off my game.  My schedule is all caddywompus and I am not feeling the push or motivation that has buoyed me through this entire past year.

It doesn't really matter why. What matters is that I turn this ship around.  I'm ready to find some wind, raise my sails and move.  Today was the end of my long summer travels.  I'm back from my brother-in-law's wedding (which was lovely) and my kiddo starts school this week.  No more setbacks.  Just juicing and boot camp and long walks and moderation and lots of water!

Weekly re-cap:

I've gained a pound this week.  Perhaps it was the amazing catered events I attended this weekend, which were always accompanied by cocktails and ended with dessert. Oh it was sinful! I also threw my hip out this weekend by lugging my 31 pound baby up stairwells and through airports and across busy streets and in heels no less!  So I'll be making an appointment with my chiropractor.  Oye.

And finally thank you to all of you who are still here reading even in the face of missing posts and silent weeks. I so appreciate your encouragement and faith in the process. You are a beautiful reminder to be in the "now" and to let up on the self-judgement pedal. Thank you!

Pounds gained this week: 1

Total pounds lost: 77

The "I Did It" List

traveled with my family to Seattle for a family wedding

slow danced with my husband

photographed two more homes for my freelance writing gig

paid off some credit cards (yay)



And here's a photo from the weekend taken by my mother-in-law. 
While I'm feeling stuck, I'm still feeling happy.
That beautiful man in blue is my husband
and that yummy looking sidecar cocktail on the table is MINE!

 

Ridiculousness

I've been in a bit of a food slump the last few days.  And today my slump reached the saturation point when I consumed a mini Caramel Pecan Brownie Blizzard and a Pilsner within an hour of each other. Sooooo, yeah.  I'm on the last day of my period and hoping that tomorrow can be a "do-over" day where I ditch the super-size tampons and brewskis for panty liners and Perrier. 

All of this is intensified by the fact that I've only been out to run once since returning from Zion and I've only done one 20-minute round of strength training.  Its just not the same without Mallory and all the amazing people at Positively Fit.  I just keep telling myself, "Hey Miss Perfectionist, simmer down. You trekked 35 miles in four days at Zion. Take a breather and stop being so ridiculous." So there you have it - a week after making my goal of 75 pounds, I've probably gained two back from menstrual bloating and beer. Ah, the glamour!

How's your week going?

What do you do when you get discouraged?

This post is part of a reader Q&A.  I'm more than happy to answer your questions about my weight loss process (or anything).  My email button is on the sidebar.  Just please remember that I am not a doctor, dietitian or a nutritionist.  These answers are absolutely specific to me and my personal journey.


Question: What was the most discouraging time or event for you and what did you do to push through?
All of my discouraging moments, be they small or big, were at my own hands. My most discouraging moments were when I displayed old behavior patterns concerning food. I'd go a few months without binge eating and think, "Yay, I'm cured!" Then a tough week followed by a killer menstrual period, Mercury in retrograde, or a terrible hospital visit for Charlie or other normal life event would catapult me back into a bowl of ice cream or four.

When I was spiraling, my first step was to ask myself only one question. "What do I really need right now?" The answer was never four bowls of ice cream. The answer was always something else: some fresh air to clear my head, better sleep, a hug, a phone conversation with my mom, etc.  Step two was always to go get the thing I really need. But step two is difficult, because it usually involved asking someone for help, which for most people (especially women who are pretending to be supermom - that's me) is very difficult.

Eating an entire pint (or before the smaller sarah year - a 1/2 gallon) of mint chip alone after the kids have gone to bed is easy and immediate. No one has to see and I don't have to ask for help.  Asking my husband for an extra hour to myself or for a friend to watch my kids for 30 minutes is difficult and takes forethought.

So how do you bridge the time between the impulse to binge (or other vice) and the relief of a planned respite? That's tough. This might not work for everyone, but here is the usual progression for me:

1. Feel the discouraging moment.
2. Feel the impulse to eat something bad for me.
3. Answer the question, "What do I really need right now".
4. Immediately make a plan to get what I need.

Making a plan to get what I need is usually two-fold.  I journal most every day, so I sit down and write about how I am feeling and what I need.  Then I make a phone call (during the daylight hours) or write an email (if it was a midnight attack of the munchies) asking for help. This is why it is SO important to participate in a supportive community. No one has ever responded with an outright "no". If they can't help immediately by having a cup of coffe with me or watching my kids for a spell, they usually offer something else at a different time.  Knowing that relief is coming makes the discouraging moments more manageable.  Does this mean I never falter because I have my "trusty" system in place?  No, of course not.  But those moments are far and few in between.  And in the process of asking for help, I've solidified and strengthened my relationships. And I have been able to return the favor for them!  That reciprocal energy boosts my mood and makes me feel great and means I experience fewer discouraging moments in the long run.

Don't Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

This is a big one for me.  I'm battling a few bad habits that I want to address.   The first concerns food.  For 32 years, I've been eating eating eating.  I'd eat everything on my plate and go for seconds or thirds and I wouldn't give it a second thought.  Then things changed and for the past 9 months I've been eating healthy food in smaller portions.  Even though my habits have improved drastically, my overwhelming impulse is to continue eating large portions even when EVERYTHING in my body is saying "Please stop - that's enough".  My body needs very little now and I'm constantly allowing my brain to take ten or fifteen more bites than my body requires.  For whatever reason, my brain is not following the internal cues that my body gives.  So now I'm currently in the process of developing an external cue (rather than an internal one like a full tummy) that reminds me to put my fork down.  Any ideas?

The second thing I'm dealing with is also a brain vs. body issue.  Once I've over eaten or consumed a food that doesn't agree with me, I feel bad and guilty.  Its like I hear a little voice inside saying, "You know better than to eat that shit" or "Why do you compromise all your hard work like this?"   The thing is, I'm not compromising my hard work - I'm still losing weight and eating healthier than I ever have in my life!  So what gives?  Why am I bullying myself over tiny details?  I'm not eating fried chicken and doughnuts or anything heinous like that.  My mind is bullying my body over silly things like having 1/2 and 1/2 in my half cup of coffee or using a store bought salad dressing instead of the raw one in my fridge or eating a veggie sandwich with low quality bread.  Silly right? 

Art by Lori Weitzel

You ate what?

Okay...  after all of my raw talk and my raw dinner party and my green lemonade juicing and my "oh I don't eat bad stuff anymore" chatter, I had a chicken burger from Jack in the Box today.  You know... the chicken sandwich with the grilled sour dough and mayo and cheese and bacon?  (Yes bacon.)  And that is not all.  I also had two doughnuts yesterday.  TWO.

I know, I know... "You ate what?"

What can I say - I was tired and PMS-ish and unprepared to feed myself today and running around doing errands and zooming in between appointments and I just thought "Ah shit, who gives a flying you-know-what" and cruised through the drive through.  And yesterday, my son was begging for a treat and mentioned doughnuts and before I could pull myself together I had gobbled up a maple and a sour cream glazed. 

Where is the "Do Over" button?

Weigh In - Week 33

I'm still sick and coughing and tired from the last few weeks.  Trying to shake the January gunk has proven to be a tall order.   But this morning, while I was wheezing my way through boot camp, I decided that it didn't matter.  Who cares.  It will go away eventually, right?

Its been a tough week for me emotionally.  (See THIS post about Charlie's recent MRI and you'll know why.)  And I've been super moody and susceptible to frothy milky coffee drinks and sugary snacks.  But you know what?  They made me feel better.  So when I do the cost-benefit analysis at the end of the week, I count those little trespasses as harmless necessities. 

I am feeling a little stalled in my weight loss, I've been bobbing around 44-46 pounds lost for over five weeks now.  I'm not sure what the magic will be, but I'm getting a little nervous.  My goal is to drop 75 by June and while 45 pounds is nothing to sneeze at, it certainly falls short of my goal.  So, I may need to do a little tweaking with my food intake.  I've been eating more because I'm working out more.  The good thing is that my body feels good and I'm not discouraged.  I'm just trying to figure out what the next step needs to be.

Pounds lost this week:  1

Total pounds lost: 46

The "I Did It" List

three hours of boot camp

made healthy meals for my family all week

played catch with my son when the weather was nice

bought a box of produce from Bountiful Baskets Co-Op

juiced most mornings

Chaos

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, chaos ensues.  This week has been pure chaos for me.  I'm not mad or sad about it.  I have accepted the week and plan on moving forward after the weekend.  My sons and myself were all ill with ear infections.  My husband was out of town (still is) for the entire week on a business trip and I've been trying to keep my head above water.  And today, a dear neighbor took my four-year-old for the morning, while I took Charlie (17 months) for a brain MRI.  As most of you know, Charlie had a stroke in utero and the MRI is simply to look at the site of the bleed.  There's nothing like a pediatric hospital at 6am to finish off the week.

I have not eaten well.  I have not done much exercise.  And I'm not really worried about it.  This was a "do-what-you-have-to-do-to-get-by" kind of week and I haven't had a week like this in a long long time.  In fact they're quite rare.  So, I'll just clean up the mess at the end of the week and start anew on Monday with my beloved boot camp class and a detoxifying glass of freshly juiced greens.  Plus, I'm kind of excited to see what comes out of this blunder-bust of a week.  (See quote below.)

sick sick sick

Well, I think this week is going to be a wash.  

I'm sick.  

Charlie is sick. 

It's time to buckle down and focus on getting through the week.

No boot camp.

No time for running.

No time for meal planning.

Just flying by the seat of my pants this week.

Weigh In - Week 31 (Sick Day)

Hi everyone.  I'm taking a sick day.  My kids are both coughing, sputtering, snotty messes and I've still got an ear infection that has now decided to migrate to the other side of my head.  We're all groggy, sleep deprived, throat-hashed zombies this morning. We took my hubby to the air port yesterday, so all of this is on top of his week-long absence.  (Don't feel bad, Jack, if you're reading this... January is always a bitch.)

So what happened this week?  Lots of exercise and juicing.  As far as my overall goals, this week was actually pretty good. Then right at the tail end of the week, while on the brink of illness and mommy-induced exhaustion, I visited a marvelous friend who made me a beautiful platter of focaccia breads, prosciutto, crackers, cheese, and chocolate.  I couldn't say no.  Then I followed it up with a few glasses of champagne.  Oye.  Needless to say, I didn't feel so hot.  The meat, bread, alcohol combo has never been a good one for me.  I immediately gained 17 pounds and got a zit and a yeast infection.  Okay... that's maybe an over statement, but I did gain a pound this week.

Okay. Here's one SUPER awesome thing that happened this week:  I ran two miles in 22 minutes on Thursday.  That's definitely a record for me.  And thank you to everyone who has emailed or messaged me this week about how much you are enjoying my blog.  It means the world to me that you are reading and finding something positive and inspiring from my little corner of the web.  (Well, except for today's "droopy dog" post.) I love hearing from you!

Pounds lost this week: 0

Total pounds lost: 45

source

The "I Did It" List
juiced (green lemonade) most mornings

ran 2 miles on my own in 22 minutes

attended 3 days of boot camp

took care of sick babies

Weigh In - Week 24

This morning, I stepped on the scale with a small trace of dread.  Its been an interesting week.  Emotionally and energetically, its been a wonderful, celebratory week spent with family.  On the food front, its been a doozy.  This was by far the worst week for diet that I've had since beginning this journey 6 months ago.

On Tuesday, I attended our neighborhood's annual meeting and fall social.  I had two pieces of pizza and three big chocolate chip cookies.  On Wednesday, after a long day of child care, boot camp and dealing with the tree removal company, I took my family to Pei Wei for a barrage of rice and sweet and sour sauce covered yumminess.

Thursday night Jack and I took the boys for a drive and some dinner.  By the end of the evening, I'd consumed a 16 ounce Caramel Latte and a trio of fish tacos, beans, rice and a margarita to boot.  I spent all of Friday preparing for my son's up coming birthday party by baking cake and some cake balls.  That night I went to bed with two cake balls and a glass of milk.  On Saturday, we rang in my son's fourth birthday with more cake and cake balls followed by a Sunday morning breakfast of coffee and cake. 

So given all that, its amazing that I only gained two pounds this week.  I lost two pounds last week and turned right around and gained it back.  Ouch.

Pounds lost this week: 0

Total pounds lost: 37

The "I Did It" List

boot camp on Wednesday (Friday was cancelled)

Juiced three mornings

one 2-mile power walk (with running sprinkled in)

Ate myself silly and only gained two pounds

Stop. Try again.

Tonight I hosted a social gathering for about 20 people at my house.  It was a potluck kind of thing and some of the guests brought really decadent treats.  I'd like to note at this time that this is the first day of my period, which made me extremely vulnerable to all of the sugary, cheesy treats on my dining room table.  So, I ate my fill.  I gorged.  I totally fell off the wagon tonight.  Here is a list of all that I ate:

a handful of tortilla chips

a bunch of cream based corn dip

goat cheese bites

lots of hummus and pita chips

two glasses of red wine

a chocolate Milky Way cupcake

and a beer at the end of the evening to top it all off

So there you have it.  A list of my sins.  It was a really nice party and everyone had a great time.  But I feel totally bloated and a little woozy from all the cheese.  I think I need to take a Midol and sleep it off.  I may fore-go a weigh-in this week because of my period.  I'm sure that I'm retaining like 8 pounds of water.  Or maybe I'm retaining beer.  Ugh.

Girl vs. Sugar

Sugar, for me, is like a little demon - a monster lurking around every corner.  As I said in an earlier post, there is no doubt in my mind that I am completely addicted to sugar.  I've been away from my home in Dallas for a little over 10 weeks.  Over the past three days, while driving from Oregon to Texas with my husband, I ingested way too much sugar.  Now that I'm home, its time to end my binge. I began this weight loss journey while traveling and now that I'm home, I'm ready to put my nose to the grindstone. 

I came home to a clean empty fridge, which is a boon because I don't have any extra crap lying around my house to munch on.  Anything I bring in the house from here on out is my responsibility.  I went to Whole Foods last night and bought 200 dollars worth of fruits, veggies and whole grain products.  This morning, I'm back on track with an all fruit breakfast and a glass of water the size of my head.  It's good to be home.  And Sugar, if you're listening, you don't scare me.