Nov 9, 2011

The Slow Reveal

Stepping out of an old you and into a new you is tough.  Of course, I'm grateful to have the support and time to focus my energies on losing weight and getting healthy.  But I'm also in the process of shedding my skin - skin that has served me well.  My weight has always been a kind of armor for me and losing it has been an emotional roller-coaster.  Remember THIS post from a while back?  It still eats at me every once in a while. 

Today, I attended another boot camp session.  It was great!  I ran, walked, squatted, lunged, jumped, squeezed and crunched my way through the class thinking all the while, "My old self is disappearing."  But that isn't entirely true, is it.  If I really look at this process, I realize that its not a disappearing act, but rather a revealing act.  In essence, I'm shedding the weight, losing the pounds and revealing my old self. I feel more vulnerable, more visable and ultimately more vibrant.  But its tough.

When I returned home from boot camp today, there was a team of tree surgeons in my back yard.  We hired them to cut down a Silver Maple that did not survive the Texas drought.  It was sick and its limbs have been dropping off every couple of weeks.  I was so sad to lose this Maple tree - even if it is only a scraggly, infected, decaying vestige of its former self.  I'll miss sitting in its shade.


anita said...

There's a great little book called "worthy of love" that I recommend. I believe I need to revisit it too.

Appletree said...

Oh Sarah! I missed that post earlier. So well said. It is a complicated process. I am so glad you are dealing with the emotional too, then you will be able to live in and enjoy your new body and the pounds won't come back on.

Anonymous said...

Hi Smaller Sarah

Good luck on your programm. You have the greatest boot camp teacher ever. I have known for over thirty years.

La Maison Boheme said...

Hi Anonymous... I love my boot camp instructor. She is an incredible person and I'm so grateful to her for all her tender care and kick-ass know-how! In short, she's a goddess.